I'm fighting that monster right now. I have a friend who just got my dream job. I am incredibly happy for her. She's had some tough times of late and this comes at a really good time in her life for her. And she'll be good at it.
Yes, I am happy for her. This is a huge accomplishment. But I am also a bit jealous. It is a job I dreamed of several years ago. It is one I would still like to have, but I know there are factors against me (age, training, etc.).
And this isn't the only thing. I see this a lot in my lists and talk about it with friends. When one of us gets published or picked up by a good agent, we celebrate. We are all happy for the person. But those who don't have the agent/publisher are also a bit jealous. Why can't we get the same breaks? What is so different about us?
Then the jealousy turns into self-doubt and we sink farther into that pit of despair. It becomes a vicious cycle of celebration to jealousy to self-doubt. Then our friends bolster our spirits and we try again.
So what can we do about it? I don't know about you, but I'm going to stop the doubt. I want you to stand up, look at yourself in a mirror and say: "I am a good writer (or whatever you are trying to prove to yourself). Go on, say it. I'll wait. And repeat it at least three time.
Okay, back now? Did you do it? Really? Yeah, right. Whether you did or not, the belief is there somewhere buried deep inside you. You just need to let it out. You need to believe in yourself. Others can pat you on the back, but you are the one who has to find that core and pull it out. So don't be afraid to acknowledge your beliefs. If you have a dream, only you can make it come true.
But first, you have to believe.
Progress - approx. 4 pages last night
Birthdays: Red Smith, William Faulkner, Robert Bresson
Tips and Teasers: Don’t be a perfectionist. When you’re writing, turn off your inner critic/editor and just write. Don’t listen to that little voice that says you aren’t any good. If you keep working, keep writing, you will improve. Then you can stick your tongue out at that little voice and snub him.
Thought for the day: "Set your goals high, and don’t stop till you get there." - Bo Jackson